They Don't Know What Jalopnik Is Doing To The Soil

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader) 01/07/2018 at 05:42 • Filed to: Obey Us, Our Precious Bodily Fluids, Porsche 911 Was An Inside Job, We Know Florida Man, Volusia County International Spaceport Construction Update, THE CHEMTRAILS

6

29

Bless you, 2018, for giving us all here at Jalopnik !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

This is my current bio at that time of that tweet, for what it’s worth:

Anyway, back to building landing strips for gay Martians and rigging the results of the Rolex 24. The chemtrail guys keep making “U WOT M8?” and “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ” jokes, and who are we as shadow-rulers of the universe to disappoint?

UPDATE : Thanks a friggin’ lot for ruining my chances of finally getting a Gaz Chaika, sheesh.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 06:22

0

never heard of that band before.

good song.

Stef Schrader > pip bip - choose Corrour 01/07/2018 at 06:48

1

Oh man, the Dead Milkmen rule. “Tacoland” and “Bitchin’ Camaro” are classics.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 07:56

3

Idk who this guy is but he spends way way wayyyyyy to much time on Twitter.

Jesus christ what was he even on about?

Stef Schrader > Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) 01/07/2018 at 08:06

5

Apparently he thinks the Gawker lawsuit was a convoluted setup to boost Trump somehow. It’s perhaps the most confusing and nonsensical conspiracy theory I’ve ever read, and that’s no small feat considering that I share a city with Alex Jones.

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’ve got to continue pumping mind-control fluoride into the water supply. Busy day!

Tekamul > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 08:38

1

He can see IT ALL

ITS SO SIMPLE

boxrocket > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 09:02

0

My brain hurts, and I also (deliberately) don’t go on twitter much because of stuff like this.

WTF did I just read?!

Does that guy think that GMG is pro-Trump, but anti-Thiel? But is secretly pro-Thiel because of GMG’s supposed loyalty to the President? GMG has been fairly liberal for a long time, and is well-known for it, for better or for worse.

boxrocket > boxrocket 01/07/2018 at 09:02

0

As an aside, that stance (having political bias on every site instead of one or two politically-focused sites) as it stands may well be for better or for worse; I personally wish that bias would be kept out of things that are less-politically focused, and/or that the author would present their opinion clearly - not sarcastically - and then elaborate on the facts as they are, especially if it’s a topic where the political situation merely adds color to the underlying - or face-value - story being presented. However, page views and ads pay the bills and employees, so having dissent - and even agreement where folks can chime in and partake in the echo chamber - that brings folks in to comment, reply, and comment again ad nauseam is a functional business practice.

boxrocket > Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) 01/07/2018 at 09:04

0

I think “spends wayyyyyy too much time on twitter” is an accurate description for most everyone on twitter.

I guess it’s only slightly better than all of us having Infosquitos digging into our brains (ref. Futurama: “The Killer App”).

jimz > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 09:08

0

I’ve never understood people who hold grudges against companies because of the words/actions of past execs. I have heard of people who still carry grudges against my employer because of some of its founders views from over a hundred years ago.

but then again, I live in a world where there are people who truly believe “pizzagate” really happened, so I don’t know why I expect better.

Stef Schrader > Tekamul 01/07/2018 at 09:21

2

Look, our goals as the one true deep state are pretty simple:

- Install Dale Jr. as president of the U.S. He seems good. I trust his ability to be a good dude and not get us into trouble.

- Mandatory carriage of the Cat Channel on all state-approved television and streaming providers. All soothing kitten footage, all the time.

- Ford would definitely be back in the WRC full-time, 100000%. (For America.)

- “The Beast” is neat, but too unwieldy. America’s shadow leadership prefers to travel in Class 11 Baja Beetles. Our unlimited string-pulling resources would be partially devoted to racing in Baja’s most often-futile class, for reasons.

- The most closely guarded deep state secret would be the location of the cookies. We have them, no doubt. Put your full faith in us, as they are good cookies. We do not want to confirm or deny whether or not they are, in fact, snickerdoodles, although I do love me a good snickerdoodle. I’m sorry, I’ve said too much.

- Florida Man would be enshrined as a national hero.

shop-teacher > jimz 01/07/2018 at 09:23

0

Dare I ask, but what is pizzagate?

shop-teacher > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 09:24

2

Maybe it’s just too early, but I legitimately cannot follow his train of “logic.”

Stef Schrader > shop-teacher 01/07/2018 at 09:30

3

I saw it when it wasn’t early yesterday and it didn’t make any sense.

I do like the idea of (specifically) Jalopnik world domination, however. Burnouts for all!

shop-teacher > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 10:48

1

To hell with mules! An engine block coffee table in front of every couch, and a brown diesel manual rally wagon in every garage!

offyatindy > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 11:24

1

I don’t like burnouts. But cookies are nice. I’m not sure which way I will vote. That is, if our Puffalump overlords let us vote.

jimz > boxrocket 01/07/2018 at 11:34

1

Gawker/GMG is just like that, sadly. I mean, their “sports” site is

25% ranting about how awful the NFL is

25% trying to force Americans to care about soccer

50% stuff having little to do with sports.

jimz > shop-teacher 01/07/2018 at 11:35

1

lemme ‘splain.

No, there is too much. Lemme sum up:

Someone planted a story about how Hillary Clinton and John Podesta were operating a child sex trafficking operation out of a pizzeria in D.C.. Far too many people believed the story ($10 says they all have an InfoWars sticker on the back window of their pickup truck.)

No, I’m not joking. Google it, it’s mind boggling.

jimz > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 11:38

0

¿Dónde están los tacos nucleares?

shop-teacher > jimz 01/07/2018 at 12:07

0

Wow! The limits of human stupidity really are boundless.

Stef Schrader > offyatindy 01/07/2018 at 12:09

3

I mean, you’ll still technically vote, but...Puff is going to win regardless.

Stef Schrader > jimz 01/07/2018 at 12:10

0

Austin, sometimes.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 12:39

4

So, like Russia

Dusty Ventures > jimz 01/07/2018 at 12:41

0

I see a Princess Bride reference, I star

Xyl0c41n3 > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 15:29

0

Pffft. Austin’s Mexican food scene is insanely weak. I need to take you on a taco tour of Texas, Stef.

Xyl0c41n3 > Dusty Ventures 01/07/2018 at 15:30

5

In mother Russia, the ballot casts you.

Stef Schrader > Xyl0c41n3 01/07/2018 at 16:08

0

Nuclear Tacos is *specifically* a gathering of spicy food addicts who go for pain over flavor, though. I’m sure there are better tasting tacos, or ones that are more authentic or whatever. But these bring the pain. Every time there’s a new “hottest pepper ever,” we want it.

It used to be a regular feature of SXSW—feed unsuspecting, often out-of-town attendees hilariously hot tacos for free—until the city tightened all the rules about foodservice and made it pretty hard for us to keep doing it. It lives on in a series of food-masochist parties every now and then, though.

Also, our Mexican food is pretty good if you know where to look. Tex-Mex and weird fusion tacos/burritos get the bulk of the headlines, but a lot of non-fusiony Mexican joints are also solid.

shop-teacher > Dusty Ventures 01/07/2018 at 16:14

4

All hail our fearless leader, Pufftin

Xyl0c41n3 > Stef Schrader 01/07/2018 at 16:15

0

Stef, I’m a Texan. A Tejana. I’ve been to the non-Instagramy Mexican places in Austin. Austin Mexican food is ok if you’ve never experienced anything else. I’m telling ya, Austin Mexican food is lightyears behind what’s available elsewhere in large swaths of the state.

Stef Schrader > Xyl0c41n3 01/07/2018 at 16:38

1

I know, but I mean, I’ve been elsewhere. To Mexico, even—and recently.

The tacos are all right.